OH,GAWD!....................

.........I don't want to sleep
even when i fall asleep.
lonely,serene & sabbatical
promises made to be broken.
.........Why on earth a 'God'...?
unkempt,shabby,abusive as a 'frog'.
Why on earth 'cow-dung'..?
pelted on the neighbour's whitewashed wall
just in the process to achieve a make-believe 'GOD'.

.........I don't want to brag
even when i'm on cloud nine
with God,just after finishing my life
which i did find so gorgeous
said 'NO' to carry the process...
.......then taking an overview of life..
along side God,doing my camera..
and me,tickling HIM in his tummy.

.........I don't want want to lie
even when there are palm leaves to hide the truth
i have seen God naked
making love to a 'wall'
presumably a 'Chinese one'
but hackneyed and abondoned
lost bricks here and there
in order of appearance
and then from the other side
protuberances & parts of female organs
peeping from the pores
in order to compliment 'their GOD'.

........I don't want want to shout
even when i'm on the uppers
one day while having an ice-cream
i suggested to GOD to play my 'life drawing model'
something senseless,....ridiculous...
wanted to sketch MINK'S ORGASM
which obviously longer than GOD'S.
......so where was the heat...?
which could blow the fireplace
in order to heat up GOD
to get the desired result(gross)
GOD growled,shivered and stumbled
but couldn't afford to achieve 'MINK'S ORGASM'
though ice-cream had deiced..
on my face and clothes ages before.

.........Now I growled..
What the 'F**K' r U doing....?
GOD growled likewise..
YOU can't afford to have an ICECREAM..
so what if i couldn't afford to have 'MINK's ORGASM'

.. .since then i've never wanted to sleep.

...............i see nothing rational.

......I see nothing rational,
except a hive and,
a cluster of honey-bees.

..when the Christmas light slows down..
losing in the hands of a nemesis
named twi-light(or tonal-equality)
here come three musketeers..
treading on a tight rope
promising a tough fight
but losing lives single handedly..
in the hands of virtuosity.

...rope was not at fault
even the bamboos were not at fault
not even the people gathered around.
it was their hearts..
which when became laughing stock,
while treading on a tight rope
they found people mocking at them
mumbling about their pink cheeks and..
hammered chins.
they couldn't bear the laughter
they couldn't bear the whine
lost guns in the hands of 'speaking mimes'
so what if there was a' rational gun'
a rational mind to trigger that off
there were hands
there were palms
reading the line of life
and then again,crossing the line of brain,
always a line of heart.
which too doesn't listen to the musketeers..
people with 'arms'.

....but it listens to a perpetual bee-humming
a conundrum of its sort
and it understands a tale wagging dance
a method in the loop of its sorts.

.....A hive is hive
made in heaven
it seems as the honey-bees are always with plans.
a promising future..
between well structured walls
a shell of its kind
blind in love with honey-bees
and inclined for the 'sweet-sauces'.
......nothing penetrates the mood
except a bee trigger
why is there a method in the hive?
why is there a dance in the bee?
why is 'relief' so uncertain?
why is 'scent' so unconscious?
that while giving a peck on its cheek..
flowers don't wither
flowers don't flower
they just remain 'flowers'
dressed in 'indecency'
unwrapped in 'limits'
making love with a honey-bee
moaning,to get soaked in trigger.
.....a 'calyx' working as a nail
a 'corolla' working as a sheet
'pigments'working as stains
and then a lot of emotional fluctuations
caused by the 'breeze'
keeping the process in' ease'
so how was the 'day'...?
how was the 'night'....?
how was the moment..?
and how was the ''love-pride"..

.......Love-pride came as a 'scar ' on the flower's cheek
a painful sigh in the lover's breath
that night ,the flower clamped its petals
it never came to see another moon-light
a glycerine one
a white.
........botanists rumoured this 'an affair'
twi-lights mocked this 'a fling'
wild-talents peeped in the matter and
then whisked away....
No one went to the flower
to feel the 'pulse'
to smell the 'odour'
to smell the 'irrationality'..
which resurfaces the flower as a 'flower'.

........Flower had nothing 'constructed'
except the 'faith'
to fall in love..
and then remain silent.
........SINCE THEN I SEE NOTHING RATIONAL
EXCEPT A HIVE
AND A CLUSTER OF HONEY-Bees.

ZEBRA....................crossing

.....wo wahan thi, jahan use veqtigat taur(personally) par
nahi hona tha
wo wahan nahi thi, jahan use samajik taur par
hona tha
wo bhee(n)d mein sabse aage thi,wo wahan thi
jahan use ro(n)ka gaya tha
wo pariwar mein sabse peeche thi, jahan use
aage aana tha

......wo kis parivesh mein parityakta(deserted) thi
kin sambhawnaon mein shithilta(lazy) thi..
rozi-roti,choolha-chakki,daana-paani ya ....
ek keet ki tarah
daanto(n) mein phansi,kabse''tooth-pick" ke saath
zirah mein lagi..

.......malal is baat ka ki aashiq ke saath nahi bhaagi
dwand is baat ka ki Bambai aur Dilli mein pali hoti..
to ek zuban paati
jo maa-baap se kahin zyada apni hoti
afsos is baat ka ki numais mein......
sirf AURAT ka sharir kyon bikta hai?
sandeh ki ek khusboo kachche aur pakke gosht ko..
kaise alag kar sakti hai?
hawayein paseena sukhaane aur bahane ka shagal
kaise paalti hain?
dhuan uth bhi sakta hai......to baith bhi sakta hai!

.......wo pak gayi......'UFF'
'HARAMI'....................phir gaali di.
apni aurat ko Raani bana ke rakhta hai aur mujhe 'RANDI'

.......wo raaste mein mili thi
raat ke paune ya adhai..
use sadak ke ZEBRA-CROSSING ke maayne nahi pata...
'decency' aur 'limit' bhi nahi
'green' aur 'yellow' bhi nahi
RED LIGHT???
haan wo yahin se chalti
rukti
aur phir chalti hai....!

...........HAAN WO IMAAN-DAAR THI.

abstract-notion.....IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT

a

Main sapno(n) mein ghira akela chalta hun........

.....
................
...................Main sapno mein ghira

akela chalta hoon...................................

jab ki baadal naayab hote hain........

wo tirte hain.......

saath nahin dete

aur zarurton ke khilaaf kai baar baras jaate hain.


....................hawayein badguman hoti hain

wo tej hoti hain........

bahti rahti hain.....

rukh mode deti hain....

aur baadlon ke saath mujhse kai baar aage nikal jaati hain............

......................main sapno mein ghira akela chalta hun.........

.........Ummid nahi hoti...

par ummid hoti hai.............

..........apne nahi hote

par apne hote hain...........

kai baar hum ummid se aage nikal jaate hain..........

utne ki jitnon pe sapno ki chammachein ban jaati hain..........

aur hum ghanton apne chehron ko niharte muskurate rahte hain....

............................................................"".HAAN MAIN SAPNO(N) MEIN GHIRA AKELA CHALTA HOON""""

>>>>>SHAAYAD WO TUMHARA HO>>>>>>>>>>

....meri aakshi ke liye jise D ke baare mein maloom hai.

""SHAAYAD WO
TUMHARA HO""..

......Kabhi tum aisa kyon nahi karte?

thoda udhar aate ...
zidhar main akela hoon.
Cheeni mitti ke pyale mein chai ka shauk...
tumhe kahne ki zarurat nahi padegi...
ek gaanth adrak..
aadhi chammach chini
...aur patti utni hi jitni tum bol ke gayi thi....

....chai ubal jayegi
tum naaraz hogi....
...chulehe ke burner pe chai ki khusboo..
...tumhe pasand nahi hai..
roshandaan ka pankha jal gaya hai...
ab wo har taraf ki hawa se rengta rahta hai...
...har koi yahan apni marzi ka maalik hai..
koi kisi ki nahi sunta..
......na roshandaan ka pankha......na burner pe giri chai ki khusboo..

...........Tum chai ko "thandi" peeti thi
aur main "garm"..........
"TASEER"
kahan jaake baith gayi hai..?
aksar meri garm chai tumhari thandi ho jaati hai...
peena bilkul yaad nahi rahta..!
adrak ki "talkhi"
cheeni ki "mithaas"
kabhi apni naapon se zyada ho jaate hain....
to kabhi apni naapon se bahut kam,,
utna kabhi nahi hote.......
jispe "hamari"chai bana karti thi...

............tumhara "cup"
jise tum "MERA"cup kahti thi..
ladti thi agar main usmein kabhi peena chahta tha
kal us cup ko...
saalon baad...
main dhulna chahta tha..
wahan kuch gard jama ho gayi thi..
aur tumhari ungliyon ke nishan..
dhundhle pad rahe the..

..............dhote waqt
cup ke "othon"ke paas ki
cheeni mitti dhasak gayi..
JAANTI HO..................................US DIN
jab tumne isi pyale mein chai lee thi
tumhare hisaab se chai thandi ho chuki thi
aur jaise hi tumne onth lagaye...
wo "jal" ke laal ho gaye the...
maine tab tumse darte hue poocha tha
jaanta tha..
tumhe apni kamzoriyan batana achcha nahi lagta...
................................aaj kis rang ki lipistic lagayi
AUR TUMNE KAHA THA..
"onth"ke rang se "tanik gahre rang ki".........
aaj jab pyale ka ''onth"toota..
to wahan usi "tanik gahre rang ka"
NISHAAN mila..
...........jo bahut dhone ke baad bhi..
tumhari chai ke toote onth waale pyale pe "ankit"hai...

....Shaayad Wo Tumara Ho………

v

SAB MURDA HAIN APNE JANAZON MEIN..

.................................SAB MURDA HAIN APNE JANAZON MEIN....

kuch khilte hain kuch khilkhilatein hain
kuch bebat daude chale jaate hain...
dakiyanoos,mauka-parast,shubh-chintak.......

fandon mein kaid
salaidaar sweator....
buno kuch,kuch aur bunte chale jaate hain...
udhedo kuch,kuch aur udhede chale jaate hain
sab murda hain.....
apne janazon mein...

tum kaun ho?
tumhara wazood kya hai?
ek kasar abhi baaki hai...tumhari parwarish mein
zirah ki naubat pe laake chod diye gaye ho tum...
tumhe maaloom hai aune-paune kaise bajte hain
kaise zindgi mein "naukri ki" aur "nibhai jaati hai..
thaka ghoda chal sakta hai
par tum ek gilas paani le ke nahin pee sakte..
sab kuch yahan jhannatedaar hai
tamache ke siwa....
jo pade bhi...pade na bhi..
kya fark padta hai?....
kaun si usme aawaj baaki hai....
sab murda hai...
apne janazon mein....

DOPAHAR se hi kyon shuru hoti hai zindgi..
DOPAHAR pe hi kyon khatm hoti hai zindgi...
sab kuch dhoop mein hai....
to "tark"mein kyon nahi..
sab kuch "chaasni " mein hai to zaban pe kyon nahi...
chasme ka number umar ke padao pe thahar sakta hai
to chasme ka aadmi kyon nahi..
kyon naashte mein...
aaj bhi do anda,ek gilas doodh...aur dher saare tark mez pe aaake jama ho jaate hain.
kyon chaaku kaatne ke bajay...
godne ki majboori rota phirta hai...
lohar ne kya sachmuch hindustan se bhatthiyan ujad lin...
aur pesa badalkar kapda press karne laga.....
kyon "crease"itni "important" hai..
ki "salwatein" sirf "shaayari" aur "mazak" ke kaam aati hain...
.....................................................................................................................................................................
.............................kabhi tumne bistar pe bikhar ke dekha hai..
wahan ek aawaz pasri ho shaayad.................us "LADKI" ki.....
jise tum hakiqat mein BUS-STOP ke paas chod ke chale aaye ho..
jiske kaanon ke "tops".......aaj bhi tumhari peeth mein chubh jaate hon...
uski nail polish lage nakhoon ki tarah.............................
.......socho mat
...majboori ka naam mat do use..
....apne se alag kar do.....
....chaar kadam peeche duniya nahi hai..
....par chaar kadam aage duniya hai..
........................................tatolo...............................................................

kya bewkoofi hai.......
itni choti si cheez ka andaaza nahi laga sakte...
aadmi ho ya......
MAIN TUMSE ZIRAH MEIN NAHI PADNA CHAHTI.....
pehle bhi kaha hai...
tum sawal karte ho......
KYON karte ho....??
haan nahi hai jawab....
TUMHARI baaton ka....
jab tha tab tha....
PAST angrezi mein hota hai....HINDI mein nahi...
HINDI mein use DEEMAK kahte hai..
wo bunta nahi
udhedta hai...
aur tum wahi chahte ho...
khud ko bhi udhedna............................AUR MUJHE BHI
MERI POORI ZINDGI KA SAWAL HAI>>>>>>
tumhari na bhi ho........??
tum to WO banna chahte the...?
tum to WO karna chahte the...?
par maine tumse aisa kabhi nahi kaha...
MAIN TO GUJAR rahi thi...
socha tumhe bhi saath le lun...
KAHAN pata tha?
DHAARIWAL KI kampaniyan
wahan aaj bhi woon(WOOL) banati hai....
...........................................................................................................................................................................
.......................................................... tumhari photo dekhi...
kisne khichi hai?
maine to nahi..!
koi apni kheech bhi sakta hai kya?
kyon?..,kyon nahi?....
bina camere ke to kheech sakta hai na?
tumhe aisa kyon lagta hai..
ek "adad camera" zindgi ko" wo" de sakta hai
JO MAIN TUMHE NAHI>>>
kyonki insaan hona tumhari ..mazboori hai meri nahi...
tum kahna kya chahte ho?
kuch nahi!
par tumne abhi kuch kaha hai?
tumhare liye nahi kaha!
phir kiske liye...?
.....jo mujhe sunne ke liye baadhya hain
kaun hain wo log main bhi to jaanun..
mujhko dekha hai...bas!
aise hi kuch aur log....tumhare jaanne se kya?
aante ke parthan ki tarah....wazood ko thaali mein liye..
" apni maa-apni bahan...."
ho gaya
de di gaali
maine to nahi di....
tumne sikhayi thi mujhe...!
us din
........................................................................................................................................................................
....US DIN JAB TUM TAAR WALI KURSHI PE BAITHE KUCH LIKH RAHE THE....
main tumhare paas aayi thi
tumhara kamra garm tha...
PANKHA tumhara bahana hai
tum A.c afford nahi kar sakte
poora hindustaan cooler mein sota hai..
aur tum ho ki
JUKAM ka bahana karte ho...
.......TUM MUJHE EK COOLER GIFT KAR DO......................................
main kyon kar doon...????
TUM meri gode mein thi...
us kursi pe jo plastic ke taaron se buni thi..
Machchar tumhare naak pe aaake baith gaya tha
cooler ki phoos se ud ke aaya hoga shaayad...
main hansa...
chalo..
cooler na sahi...yahan machchar to hai..
tumne naak sikodi..
main dar gaya..
par machchar nahi..
WO wahin baitha tha..
jab kabhi bhi tumne naak sikodi
main dar jaata tha..
tum kuch kah na do..
AUR main poora na kar paun
TUMHE AISA KYON LAGTA HAI MAIN TUMSE KUCH MANGOONGI>>
maangne ka dar nahi lagta
na de paane ka dar lagta hai
phir dar lagta hai
TUMNE AAJ TAK MUJHE CHODA KYON NAHI..
KYON??????AISA KYON LAGTA HAI....
.........................................................................................
.....................ladkiyan un logon ko chod deti hain..
tumhe kisne bataya ladkiyon ke baare mein?????
maine aisa suna hai...!!!!!!!
par maine to aaj tak tumhe nahi choda..
tum khilkhilayiii
aur machchar ud gaya
main khush tha
tum cooler ke bina rah logi...
RAH LOGI SE KYA MATLAB HAI TUMHARA?????????????????????????????????
aur tabhi..
neeche se plastik ke kuch taar toot gaye..
aur hum dono karibbb......
us DIN SE KYA MATLAB HAI TUMHARA????????????????????????????????????????
.....................................
.....................................................
............................................................tum sawal karte ho!!!!.............................................................
par tum zawab nahi deti..
mere paas waqt nahi hai!!!!!
tab tha...
MERE PAAS PATIENCE NAHI HAI...
tab tha....
MERE BHITAR TUMHARE LIYE WO JAGAH nahi hai...!!!!!
tab tha....
nahi kaha maine..
kahte-kahte ruka bhi nahi......
sirf”nahi kaha.”...............................................................


.......kursi ke saare taar udhde the
neeche ki taraf jhool rahe the..
MACHCHAR UDA.....chakkar kaat-ta raha....
har taraf phoos thi..
shaayad wo bhi confuse tha..
kahan baithe..kahan na baithe,,
cooler saalon se sookh gaya lagta hai
MAINE SOCHA AUR DEEWAR SE SATI PITH KO ALAG KAR LIYA
bilkul waise hee
jaise tumne kiya tha
saalon pah;le
mera ek saal se gujar nahi hota....mujhe saalon chahiya
cheezon ko bunne ke liye
udhedne ke liye....
peeth nangi thi
deewar ke choone ki ek parat..
pasine ke saath chipak gayi..
AISA LAGA PEETH KA APNA KOI WAZOOD HI NAHI THA...
..........................................................
wo deewar se jaani jaati hai
jaise tum cooler na hone ki wajah se mujhe janti ho
aisa mujhe lagta hai
JAANTI HO TUM....
USS DIN
JAB TUM US TOOTI BEINT KI KURSI MEIN...
meri gode mein baithi thi...
MUJHSE ZIRAH KAR RAHI THi...
meri kamiz khich gayi thi..
AUR GALE KE PAAS KI EK BATAN.....
darak gayi thi..
BATAN DHEELI THi
batan kamzor thi..
BATAN-BATAN THI..
............................................par mujhse achchi thi wo.............
wo jaanti thi
use andesha tha
TUMHARE CHALE JAANE KA....
............................................mujhe batan ke tootne ka malal nahi hai.....................
..................................
....................................
......................................................
........par uske tootne ke baad
WAHAN EK DHAAAGA LATKA PHIRTA HAI>>
us dhaage mein maine kai baar..
BOONDEIN latki dekhi hai.............
sookhi kamiz ke
tooti batan ke...
EK DHAAGE SE KOI BOOND KAISE LATAK SAKTI HAI??????????????
ek SAWAL hai
jo tumhare na chahte hue bhi..
aaj bhi har waqt dimag mein latka rahta hai
....aur wo machchar...ab har waqt..
..kamre mein chakkar kaat-ta rahta hai..
jab ki har jagah PHOOS bikhri padi hai..
.......
...................
..............................
......aur cooler ki aawajein pados ke saare gharon se nikalkar..
...dimag mein jama ho rahi hai..
...
....
.....................................SAB MURDA HAI APNE ZANAJON MEIN
haan kisi ko khabar hai..
to koi murda-parasht hai
apne khayalon mein...

HAAAAAN SAB MURDA HAIN APNE ZANAZON MEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!